


Purpose

by LadyLienDa



Series: Purpose Series [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Lance (Voltron) is a Dork, New Team Member, Not a Paladin!, POV Original Female Character, problem solving, set after space mall episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 11:10:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11758605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLienDa/pseuds/LadyLienDa
Summary: Hope is a human girl who’s been living with the Olkari. She is given a chance to become a part of the Voltron team – only to find it isn’t what she thought it would be. Can she find her own place in a team where all the roles have seemingly been filled?





	Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> One of my first Voltron fan fictions. It's gotten some pretty good reception on FanFiction.net, so I decided to join the Archive and post it here.  
> I wanted to include a female character (so Allura and Pidge aren't the only girls on the team!), but I didn't want the cliche of having a sixth paladin. This fic was born out of the random thought "what would another person on the team do if they weren't a paladin?"  
> Enjoy, and don't forget to comment and tell me what you think!

What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? What is my purpose?  
These questions all come at some point in life, whether on a large scale, such as pondering the meaning of human life in general, or closer to home, wondering if one’s life has any purpose in the current place and situation they find themselves in.  
For a long time, I wondered what my purpose was. Living as the only human amongst an alien race on a planet far from Earth can certainly cause one to wonder. I was happy with my situation, and while a small part of me wanted to return to Earth, the other side wanted to stay. Olkaria was my home, and the Olkari were my people, even if I was different.  
My name is Hope. I’m 5-foot-2 and my hair, eyes, and skin are all within the same shade of each other – a dull ash-brown. I don’t remember much of my life on Earth. Crash-landing on an alien planet after getting sucked through a freak wormhole can have serious effects on one’s memory. I remember I was a member of a small crew of Galaxy Garrison cadets on a special test flight program. The ship suffered a malfunction and veered off course, plunging into a black hole of some kind and crashing onto Olkaria. I was the only survivor. Since then, I’ve lived with the Olkari. I’ve adopted their ways of living in the forest, and even learned how to create computers and weapons by changing the structure of an object. They call me Vreekaya, which means ‘hope’ in their tongue.  
When the Paladins of Voltron, of whom I’d only heard in stories and legends, descended from on high into our forest village, I wondered at the significance. For the first time, I was not the only human being on Olkaria.   
Rhyner encouraged me to go with these people. I would be with humans again. My own kind. They were my best chance of getting back to Earth. I was hesitant, but the Paladins seemed excited, and told me I would be a welcome addition to their team.  
That being said, I didn’t fit in as well as I’d hoped. For one thing, everyone in the Castle of Lions has a job to do. Allura and Coran run the ship, and the paladins fight whenever we run into Galra. Me? I wait in the bridge, doing my best to stay out of the way while Allura and Coran expertly maneuver the ship and guide the paladins through their battles. When we’re not fighting Galra, I feel even more like extra weight. I can’t cook as well as Hunk, fix things as well as Coran, shoot as accurately as Lance, or fight as well as Shiro and Keith. And forget my tech expertise. Being able to create a computer out of a chunk of metal is a very fine thing, but not much good when you can’t explain how you did it. Once Pidge learned I had trouble with Altean tech and couldn’t even thoroughly explain how my Olkarian blaster worked, she made it clear in no uncertain terms I wasn’t going to be much help to her.  
So this is why I hide out in my room most of the time. I’m just a passenger, it seems. The paladins all know each other from before they came here, and I don’t know any of them. I miss Olkaria, and Rhyner’s gentle face. I miss my life before the paladins came into it. They’re nice and all, and I’ve come to care about each of them (yes, even Lance), but I still miss my old life. Most days, when I’m not eating meals or skulking around the bridge, I’m doing my best to stay out of the way.  
Today is just such a day. I just got back from accompanying the paladins (all but Shiro) on a mission to some giant space mall to look for skaltrite lenses. Glad to be finally on the same page as everyone else for once (meaning we were all clueless), I accompanied Hunk and we wandered around looking for weird skaltrite lenses and ended up in the kitchen of some diner, working off a debt for the food we devoured, thinking they were free samples. (We don’t regret anything. The food was pretty tasty.)  
But now that we’re back, there’s nothing for me to do. Currently, we’re en route to the Blade of Marmora’s headquarters. Apparently Shiro found a way to keep Zarkon from tracking the Black Lion. That put some of my fears to rest. But so far, the space mall has been the best thing that’s happened. Hunk and I were able to put a smile on some people’s faces with our delicious food. But now I’m back here and in the way of everyone as they prepare for our meeting with the Blade of Marmora. I suppose I might as well find a place to put this...cow…where it won’t get tripped on. I pick up the rope and head towards the elevator. Turning around, I’m surprised to see Allura following me. She mutters something about fixing her hair and we both laugh. I had taken one look at her when walking in the doors to the bridge and had to stifle a laugh. Her hair was done up in one of the wackiest hairstyles I’ve seen. Nobody had the heart to say anything about it, but I did see Pidge and Lance trying to stifle giggles before running off to try out that new game they bought.  
“I didn’t want to offend the mice.” Allura explains as we ride the elevator down towards the living quarters. “So I went along with it. But I’ve never had such a hard time not laughing at myself!”  
“Yeah, it looks pretty ridiculous.” I agree. “You want me to help you take it out?”  
“Please!” Says Allura, looking relieved. “I’m afraid I’ll tangle or snag it trying to take out those rubber bands!”  
After stashing the cow in the storage closet next to Lance’s room (heh heh!), I follow Allura to her chambers and begin the meticulous task of removing the numerous rubber bands from her hair. As I work, my mind drifts to the past few weeks, and how my quiet life has been suddenly uprooted by five colored lions and their paladins. Some of that must be showing on my face, because Allura suddenly shifts in her seat.  
“Is something wrong?” She asks.  
I sigh. “Is it that obvious?”  
“Well, yes.” Says Allura. “I’ve actually noticed it for some time now. You don’t seem happy. You hide in your room all day. I’m just concerned about you, is all.”  
I set aside one of the bands and reach for the hairbrush, trying to come up with the right words.  
“I just...” I mutter, struggling with the next rubber band, which has gotten snagged in a twist of white hair, “…I just feel so useless.”  
“Useless?” Allura repeats. “How?”  
“Oh, come on.” I snap in spite of myself, still struggling with the band. “Don’t tell me it isn’t obvious! I don’t have any purpose on this ship other than taking up space.” At another time I would have laughed or at least chuckled at the pun I’d inadvertently made, but I’m a little worked up right now, and don’t have much room for laughter.  
“You’re not taking up space!” Allura insists, handing me the fine-toothed comb as I reach for it. “You contribute plenty!”  
I snort. “Like what? Name one useful thing I’ve done since coming onto this ship.”  
Allura stops short. Her face screws up as she tries, and apparently fails, to come up with something.  
“See?” I say, picking at the stubborn knot that’s entangled itself around the rubber band in an attempt to work it out. “Other than helping you with your hair, I don’t do much around here. The most I’ve done is gotten my butt kicked by Keith and cleaned up the kitchen after Hunk is done cooking. I can’t even explain to Pidge how my Olkarian cannon works! I just feel like I’m not contributing anything. You’re the princess, and they’re all part of Voltron. Even Coran makes sure the castle is running smoothly! I’m just dead weight.”  
While I’m talking, Allura sits patiently and listens. When it’s clear I’m done with my little outburst, she sighs. “I see your point.” She says quietly. “I know you probably feel that way. But keep in mind, you’ve only been with us a little while. There may be something you just haven’t discovered yet.”  
“I’m starting to wonder if it was a good idea to leave Olkaria.” I say, exclaiming with satisfaction as I finally work the knot free.  
“I can understand.” Says Allura. “You feel you finally had a home there, only for it to be wrenched out from under you.”  
I nod, setting down the comb and starting on the next rubber band. “Exactly. Rhyner said it was a chance for me to be a part of something greater, something that will affect the whole galaxy. But so far, all I’ve done is served as a punching bag for Shiro and Keith and an extra pair of hands to hold wires for Coran when he’s fixing the teludav.”  
“I don’t think you should be worrying too much.” Says Allura. “You’ll get your chance to be great, I’m sure of it.”  
“The problem is, I don’t know what ‘being great’ looks like for me.” I say. “I mean, you all get to pilot the ship or the Voltron lions. That’s pretty great. But what’s left for me?”  
“Well, what do you want?” Allura asks. “Do you want fame and recognition as one of the Voltron paladins? Do you want to be remembered as a great tech expert, or a skilled fighter? What’s your idea of being great?”  
I shake my head. “I don’t think I want to be ‘great’.” I say, finger-quoting in the air. “I just want to be useful.”  
“So you’re not looking for fame and fortune, or even to be useful, per say,” says Allura, “you want to be needed.”  
“Yes.” I say, working out the last of the rubber bands in one strand and starting on the next. “Exactly. I want to be needed. I want to be irreplaceable, like one of you. If you or Coran were missing, there’d be a disaster. But me…”  
“Don’t feel too bad.” Allura says encouragingly. “You’ll find your place, I’m sure.”  
“When?”  
“Doesn’t matter. You’re part of the team now, and in time you’ll find your special place. For now, you can at least take heart in the fact that I can count on you to help me next time the mice decide to play hairdresser.”  
We both laugh, and I feel some of the weight on my heart lift. But I still feel doubtful. Allura said it would take time. But will I ever find my place on this team?  
Anything more Allura might be about to say is lost when there’s a chime at the door.   
“Yes?” We both answer.  
“Allura?” Comes Lance’s voice. “Is Hope in there with you?”  
“Yes, I’m here.” I say.   
The door opens. Lance is there in the entryway, clutching his left arm and looking frazzled. He’s wearing his paladin armor (minus the helmet) and his Bayard is clipped to his belt. The bandage on his forehead from when he smacked into the beam on the way out of the mall is hanging precariously by one sticky piece of tape, revealing a nasty bruise amid a sheen of sweat.  
“What happened to you?” I ask.  
Lance looks sheepish. “Well, I kind of…accidentally…set the gladiator on level 6…” He trailed off, then cleared his throat. “Anyway, the training deck is a mess and I wrenched my shoulder really bad.”  
“Have you visited the medbay?” I ask, setting down the hairbrush on Allura’s vanity. “You can just fire up one of the pods and it’ll fix your shoulder good as new. Not to mention your head.”  
“Yeah, but I can’t get the pods to work.” Says Lance. “There’s a switch missing, or something, and I can’t figure it out.”  
“Can’t Coran fix it?” I ask.  
“He’s busy working on the teludav with Pidge.” Lance explains. “And Hunk just burned whatever he was working on for dinner and he’s trying to shut off the smoke alarms in the kitchen.” He grinned sheepishly. “Basically, there’s nobody around to help me and I really need that pod. My shoulder is killing me.”  
I hesitate, turning back toward Allura, who waves her hand. “Go help him.” She says. “I can finish the rest myself.”  
Nodding, I follow Lance out of Allura’s room and up the elevator to the medbay. “You do realize,” I say as we step into the elevator, “that I might make it worse? I’m not all that good with Altean tech. You saw what I did to the receiver on that pod we took to the mall!”  
Lance shrugs, then winces. “Maybe, but you’re better than me or Shiro or Keith.”  
“Where is Keith?” I wonder, suddenly realizing I hadn’t seen him in awhile. I’d seen Shiro heading for his quarters earlier, but after our course was set, Keith had simply disappeared from the bridge.  
Lance makes a pffft noise and waves his hand. “Who cares? He’s probably taking a nap or something.”  
We reach the medbay and Lance shows me the problem. The pods won’t even turn on. He was right. There must be a switch loose or something. Or maybe Pidge was working on them earlier and turned off the power so the fuses wouldn’t overload.  
“When’s the last time someone used these?” I ask. Lance is perched like a frog on top of one of the ports, which I don’t think is a very good idea in case the pods spontaneously decide to start working again. He screws up his face, trying to remember.  
“I think it was right before we came to Olkaria.” He says vaguely. “Hmm…oh, right!” He slaps his knee. “Yes, it was after we all got separated by that wormhole and Shiro got his butt whooped by that crazy space witch. That’s the last time I remember someone using them.”  
“And has anyone been in here to work on them since?” I ask, wondering if I really want to ask for details about what had happened before I joined the group.  
Lance shakes his head, then clutches at it with his right hand. “Man, I really do have a headache.” He mutters.  
“You shouldn’t have been training so soon after getting a nasty whack like that, anyway.” I chide him. “What were you thinking?”  
“I have to catch up to mullet-head!” Lance protests. “He’s already up to level 7 on the gladiator! I can’t get left behind!”  
I sigh and watch him as he gets to his feet and wanders off into one of the supply rooms, looking for the Altean version of an ice pack.  
After frowning at the pods for some time, I begin to get an idea of how they work, and it’s then I conclude the problem is what I originally thought – something has cut off the power supply to the pods. At first I think it’s a blown fuse, but after locating the panel and fiddling with the switches, I discover they’re all working. Realizing this means the problem lies in the power supply itself, I open a maintenance hatch in the floor and start hunting for the problem internally. I’ve followed the cables almost to the main power diverter when another panel opens up in the shaft near my elbow, making me jump. Allura’s face peers in at me.  
“Oh, there you are.” She says. “Have you found the problem?”  
“Not quite.” I say, wiping my hands on the cloth I’d swiped from one of the supply cabinets in the medbay. “But I can tell it’s something to do with the power supply. Has anyone tampered with the flow of power in the ship recently? Like maybe turned some things off and then back on again?”  
Allura frowns. “The only thing I can think of is when we were stuck in that wormhole-loop Haggar shot at us.”   
I figure she must be referring to what Lance had mentioned earlier and again I keep silent, not bothering to ask for details.  
The princess continues. “I had to divert all the power to the castle’s lasers. That’s about all I can think of.”  
“Hmm…” I murmur. “Then perhaps one of the couplings is loose or one of the other fuse switches got bumped and caused it to not turn back on when the power was rerouted.” I reason aloud. “Can you go tell Pidge and Coran to shut off the main power diverter for this sector? I’m going to need to check for loose couplings or disconnected cables.”  
Allura goes to tell Pidge to shut off the power for this sector while I squeeze out of the shaft and head off to locate a pair of wire cutters, pliers, a screwdriver, and a headlamp.  
About an hour later I emerge from one of the hatches in the power room, sweaty and covered with dust and grease, but feeling triumphant. Pidge jumps when the panel pops open, exclaiming that I gave her a heart attack. I grin at her and press the button on the handheld comm on my wrist.  
“Okay, try it now.” I say.  
There’s a pause, then Lance’s voice crackles out of the speaker. “Got it! They’re working again!”  
“What’s working?” Pidge wants to know. She’s hunched over a cluster of wires and cables, holding a small blowtorch.  
“Lance needs one of the healing pods,” I explain, “but they weren’t working. I just fixed them.”  
Pidge actually pauses in her work to look up at me. “Really?” She sounds impressed and skeptical at the same time. “What was the problem?”  
“That wormhole jump you guys did.” I say. “I guess it was the one some space witch ruined…?” I trailed off, not sure if I had the details right.  
Pidge, however, nods. “Oh, yeah.” She says, adjusting the goggles she’s wearing. “That was when we all got stranded on different parts of the galaxy. Allura told me about the wormhole-time-loop-thing.”  
“Anyway,” I say, “she and Coran had to reroute the power to the lasers, and upon returning that to normal, one of the fuses shorted out. I had to replace the whole thing.”  
“Good for you.” Says Pidge. “I’m impressed. Now, you should probably head back up to the medbay before Lance locks himself in one of the pods again.”  
Wondering whether she’s joking or not and realizing I wouldn’t put it past Lance to potentially break something else in the medbay, I hurry up to to find Lance already dressed in one of the cryo suits. He’s lounging on top of one of the counters, nursing his forhead with an Altean ice pack.  
“Ready?” I ask. Lance slides down from the counter.  
“Shouldn’t take more than a half-hour.” He says. “Man, am I ready to have this ache go away.”  
Chuckling, I press the right buttons and watch as there’s a humming sound, and Lance relaxes inside the pod and falls asleep.  
That being done, I head down to the mess hall to see if Hunk has finished cleaning up the kitchen and produced some real food. I find a still-sweaty Pidge and and equally messy Coran digging into whatever Hunk has managed to concoct. Hunk himself is still in the kitchen, looking a bit singed but beaming with pride as he puts together some new creation – probably dessert, if I know Hunk. Shiro, looking stoic as usual, converses with Allura in a low voice. They’re probably discussing what will happen once we reach the Blade of Marmora’s headquarters.  
A prickle of concern ripples through me as I realize that somebody is missing.  
“Has anyone seen Keith?” I ask, grabbing a plate and sitting down between Allura and Pidge and helping myself to Hunk’s cooking.  
Pidge pauses with her spoon halfway to her mouth. “Nope.” She says, and swallows. “But then, I’ve been down in the power room all day, so I haven’t seen anybody except you and Coran. How’s Lance?”  
“Should be joining us in another twenty minutes or so.” I say. “That is, if he doesn’t go spend another twenty fixing his hair.”  
Pidge snickers and accidentally snorts some soup out of her nose. We both laugh harder at that.  
“So the pod-fixing was a success, I take it?” Coran asks, lifting a glass of some bright pink liquid to his mouth.  
I nod, taking care to chew and swallow before answering. “Just a melted fuse.” I say. “It was pretty easy to fix once I knew what the problem was.”  
“Yes, I hear you saved the day.” Says Shiro unexpectedly. I hadn’t known he’d been listening. Apparently news of my deed had spread.  
“It wasn’t much.” I say. “Just a problem with the fuse.”  
“But the fact remains that you did it.” Says Allura, beaming. “And you’ve done us a great service.”  
“I’ll say.” Pidge pipes up. “You’ve saved us from listening to Lance’s stupid jokes for one night, at least!”  
We all laugh at Pidge’s jibe, and I find myself grinning even after the laughter has died away. Allura is right. I did do something useful today. I diagnosed and fixed a problem with the medbay all by myself. The thought is encouraging, but it’s also tainted by the knowledge that it wouldn’t have occurred if Pidge and Coran hadn’t been preoccupied with fixing the teludav.  
“Anyway,” says Pidge, adjusting her glasses and scooping the last of her food off her plate, “how much longer until we reach the Blade of Marmora’s headquarters?”  
“Well,” says Coran, “since we got the teludav working again, we’ll be able to wormhole the rest of the way. We should continue on our present course for the meantime, however, so we can all get some rest.”  
I have to agree to that. After the wackiness of the space mall and then spending several doubashes crawling through shafts and fiddling with wires and cables, I’m spent. Pidge is of the same opinion. No one can mistake the tiredness in her eyes. Shiro looks like he’s about to question Coran’s ruling, but even he knows the importance of rest, even if we are trying to get to the headquarters as soon as possible.  
Any further comments are interrupted when Hunk bursts triumphantly from the kitchen.  
“Who wants dessert?” He beams.  
I leave the mess hall nearly an hour later, my belly full and my heart happy. Only when I’m in the elevator heading down to the living quarters do I realize I’d completely forgotten about Keith. The elevator door opens and I head at once down the hallway and stop at Keith’s door.  
“Keith?” I call softly, not wanting to disturb him in case he was asleep. There’s no answer, and I’m considering ringing the bell beside the door, but something holds me back. A voice behind me startles me and I turn to find Shiro coming down the hallway from the other elevator.  
“I wouldn’t worry too much.” He says. “We’ve all been tired lately.”  
“I’m just a little concerned, is all.” I say, unwilling to admit I’d been more than a little worried about him. In my time on board the castle, I’ve come to discover just how much of a social outcast Keith is. The fact he had trouble fitting in, like me, attracts me to him just as much as it pushes me away.  
“The question is, are you okay?” Shiro asks.  
“I’m just fine, actually.” I say, a little put out. Does Shiro know about my conversation with Allura about purpose? Did she tell him? I frown and cross my arms, miffed that she’d let someone else in on our private conversation so easily.  
“Really?” Shiro asks, seemingly sensing my uptight attitude. “Because you’ve seemed a bit down lately.”  
“Did Allura tell you?” I blurt, not caring how I sound.   
Shiro looks confused. “What?” He asks. “No, this is just my observation.”  
Pretty good one. I think, relieved that Allura hasn’t betrayed my confidence after all.  
“Well, to tell you the truth, I have been a bit frustrated.” I say carefully, not knowing how much I want to divulge. I’m not exactly in the mood for someone else trying to encourage me. What I really need is some time to think, alone. I suddenly realize I may not need to worry about Keith not being at supper.  
“I thought something was off.” Says Shiro. “Listen. I know it may feel awkward and new to you still, but we think of you as part of our team. Even if you’re not a paladin, you’re still one of us. So if there’s anything we can do to help you feel welcome, let us know.”  
For a moment, I stand there, stunned. Shiro’s words, while not entirely a stab in the dark, have hit me more accurately than he realizes. I feel a tear coming into my eye and I blink to keep it at bay.  
“I-I just-” I stammer, unable to keep from speaking, “I just want to be needed.” I finally say. “Fixing the cryo pods was one thing, but other than that, I’ve done nothing to help the team. I’m just dead weight.”  
Shiro’s face melts and he bends down so he’s closer to my height instead of towering over me. “I’m so sorry you feel that way.” He says sorrowfully. “We’ll do our best to-”  
“No.” I say, sniffling a little. “It’s not you guys. Stop trying to take every burden yourself. I’m just feeling blue and it’s not really anyone’s fault.”  
“But there must be some way we can help.” Says Shiro, seemingly unwilling to let this go.  
I shake my head and wipe my nose with the sleeve of my old Garrison uniform. “It’s just the way things are here. I’m still wondering if I should have left Olkarion. At least there I was somewhat useful.”  
Shiro frowns. “I guess I can see why you feel that way. But if there’s any way we can help you not to, go ahead and tell us. We’ll make it happen. In the meantime, try not to worry. Everyone has a purpose – maybe you just haven’t found yours yet.”  
“Thanks, Shiro.” I say, blinking back a few more tears. Smiling, Shiro pats my shoulder before heading to his room. I’m left standing in front of Keith’s door, sniffling for a few ticks before I, too head to my own room.  
Perhaps Shiro is right (as he usually is). Perhaps I just haven’t found my purpose yet. I loved the feeling I glimpsed when I fixed the cryo pods for Lance. The fact that he’d come to me for help was reassuring. But I also knew it only happened because I was the last resort – because Pidge, Coran, and Hunk weren’t available. I want something more – I want a place only I can fill. Perhaps it’s selfish of me, but is it really so wrong to want to feel needed? Allura really hit the nail on the head with that one. I want to be needed. I want to have some part in this whole situation that is unique. I’m not looking for fame or fortune. I just want to exist as a part of a whole and not just excess baggage.  
I flop on my bed and wrack my brain for ideas. What job could I do on this ship that hasn’t been filled already by someone more experienced? I’m pretty good at cooking, but Hunk is by far the better cook around here, and he knows more about the ship’s kitchen than I do, anyway. Lance is waaaay better than me at shooting, same way I can’t hope to measure up to Keith or Shiro in fighting. From outside my door, I hear the muffled hissing sound of a door opening. I don't think much of it until there's a quiet knock on my door. I sit up.  
"Who is it?" I call softly.  
"It's me." Says a sullen-sounding voice.  
I hastily throw a robe over the pajamas Allura gave me and touch the switch to open the door.  
"That doesn't really narrow it down." I say half-jokingly as the door slides open. Keith is standing there in his usual ratty jeans and black tee-shirt. He's clenching his left hand around his right fist, and I catch a glimpse of something red between his fingers.  
"What's going on?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at his hands. Keith looks embarrassed, but it's not the sheepish look Lance gave me earlier today, but more of an angry sort of flush, as if he's trying his best not to look like there's something wrong.  
"I cut my hand." He says blandly, looking down at his clenched fist. "I need two hands to wrap it."  
"You're asking for my help?" I ask, a bit puzzled. Keith never asks anyone but Shiro for help with anything. "Where's Shiro?"  
"Upstairs." Says Keith, and his eyes glitter with urgency. "And I don't feel like going up there and explaining why my hand is bleeding to the rest of the group."  
I frown, though I hope it doesn't look unkind. Before I can say anything, however, Keith's angry facade breaks and he looks desperate.  
"Please, Hope?" He almost begs. "I really need to stop the bleeding and you're the only one who's down here, and also the only one who won't laugh at me or ask stupid questions. I don't-"  
I hold up a hand to silence him. "Of course I'll help you." I say. He steps aside to let me out of my doorway and we head toward the elevator. As we ride up to the medbay in silence, I have to bite back an urge to ask how he managed to cut himself so badly if he's been sitting in his room. Maybe he accidentally activated his Bayard?  
Keith notices the way my gaze rests on his clenched hands and unconsciously shifts them to the side. "Before you ask, it was an accident."  
"I wasn't going to." I say. "But yes, I am curious. If you don't want to tell me, though, I get it."  
Keith shifts uncomfortably and averts his gaze. "I wasn't like, y'know, cutting or anything." He says awkwardly.  
I blink. The thought had never occurred to me. "Oh, no." I say reassuringly. "No, I didn't think that."  
Keith looks relieved. There's silence between us for awhile. Then he shrugs. "If you must know," he says, "I was cleaning my knife and I accidentally cut myself on it." He says. "Pretty stupid, huh?"  
We've reached the medbay and I start rummaging through the supplies for antiseptic, gauze, and tape.  
"Better than Lance 'accidentally' setting the gladiator on level 6." I say. Keith actually chuckles.   
"Wow, do I even want to know?"  
"Probably not." I say, gesturing to him to unclench his fist so I can look at the wound. Pouring some antiseptic onto a gauze pad, I reach for his hand. The wound is long, but not deep. I begin to wash away the blood, using slow, even strokes. Keith hisses, but doesn't pull away. I work in silence, dabbing some ointment onto the now clean wound and applying a new gauze pad. Picking up the tape, I then begin to wrap it, telling him to hold the gauze in place. Soon his palm is wrapped as tightly as I can manage without cutting off any circulation.   
"There you go." I say quietly, setting aside the tape roll. Keith tests his hand, clenching and unclenching his fist as he acclimates to the bulky gauze.  
"Thanks." He says, and his eyes flash with gratitude.  
"No problem." I say. "I'm happy to help."  
Keith looks at me as we start walking back to the elevator, his eyes narrowing. "And you really think you're useless?"  
I stop walking, stunned. "How did you hear about that?" I ask, mouth slightly agape.  
"I heard you talking to Shiro." He says. "You were right outside my door."  
"Oh." I say, mind momentarily blank. Then I suddenly find my voice again.  
"But it's true, isn't it?" I ask. "Even just a little bit?"  
"Hope, not everyone has to be a paladin or a princess to be useful." Says Keith, and I'm taken aback by the bluntness of his words. "Just because you can't fight well or fix things or pilot a lion doesn't mean you're just in the way. Where would Lance and I be right now if you weren't here?"  
The words I was about to say die on my lips and I'm left blinking at Keith as his words slowly begin to make sense. He's right. I feel a smile coming to my lips. Keith smiles, too. It's far from a grin, but it's unmistakably a smile. We step off the elevator back on the lodging deck and I cross the hall to my room, a new spring in my step. I pause before reaching my door and turn back towards Keith, who's standing at the door of his own room.  
"Thanks, Keith." I say, suddenly shy. "For getting my head on straight."  
Keith smiles again. "No problem." He says. "Now rest up. We've got a big day coming up."  
Nodding I head back inside my room, feeling elated. His words have encouraged me in a way I can't describe. Keith has shown me something I've failed to notice before. I'm avaliable. I may not be as good as any of the others in skills like tech, fighting, or cooking, but I'm there when the others aren't available to help.   
Yes. I think as I pull off my robe and slippers and settle into bed. Keith, Shiro, and Allura are right. I am a part of the team. And I’m available whenever anyone needs something. Lance needed help with the healing pods, and I was there to help. Keith needed someone to help treat his hand - someone who wouldn't make him feel too embarrassed. Perhaps I’m not so useless after all. It’s not the role I was expecting to fill, but it’s a start.  
I fall asleep feeling happier than I have in a long time.


End file.
